Adult Sex Toys

Robert Bruce, crowned king of Scotland, was made an outlaw in his own country by Edward I, king of England.

Close to despair, he wondered if the freedom of Scotland was worth the enormous price that he was paying? Was it worth the lives of so many men slain in battle? Was it worth so many bereft children and widows?

Robert lay still and silent on his mean straw bed, troubled and disturbed by his thoughts. Suddenly his attention was caught by a spider – the creature was hanging by a long silvery thread from one of the wooden beams above his head, and trying to swing itself to another beam. The spider tried again and again, failing every time. Six times, counted Robert, the spider tried and failed. ‘Six times,’ thought Robert to himself, ‘have I fought against the English and failed.’

Robert decided to himself ‘Now if this spider fails again on the seventh attempt, I too shall give up the fight for Scotland. But if it succeeds, I shall try again.’

Well, the spider, as though aware of Robert’s thoughts, swung itself again with all its tiny strength – and finally, on the seventh attempt, it succeeded. It swung on to the beam it had been trying to reach, and fastened its thread, thus stretching the first line of the web it was trying to weave.

Robert Bruce smiled, and sat up. He rid himself of despair and grief, set out for Scotland again to continue his fight against the English. He fought against the English for the next eight years, defeating them and finally driving them out of Scotland in 1314, at the Battle of Bannockburn.

This legendary tale of determination against all odds, to try, try and try again is very similar to the experience you will encounter with an Autoblow Blast.

The Autoblow is a fully automatic blowjob machine that gives an entirely authentic deep throat blowjob at the flick of a switch. Nowadays of course, you don’t have to go battling armies, just lie back, relax and let the Autoblow conquer your horniness as you try, try and try it again.  And the great price you’ll be paying for your determination to enjoy yourself?  Just one hundred lousy bucks plus a 15% discount.

Never mind spiders, get on the web now and visit www.roboticblowjob.com.

Don’t worry, no matter how upset a woman may get that your sexual performance is shorter than her shortest mini skirt, bear in mind it’s not something for which most women can order you to be dragged away screaming to face a firing squad. It may, however, be time to take stock of how you can improve things in the bedroom.

With the Male Massager, the world’s first fully automatic stamina building machine you learn how not to shoot first and have to answer embarrassing questions later.

The Male Massager can correct your awkward, inconvenient and frustrating tendency to spill the goods too early during a love making session. It’s part adult sex toy, and part adult trainer, meaning it’s not all hard work, but is actually a lot of fun.

The Male Massager has helped thousands of men to overcome the debilitating, depressing and often psychologically damaging trauma of continued premature ejaculation. As everyone knows, premature ejaculation is guaranteed to ruin the party every time. The Male Massager helps to overcome this problem by simulating the powerful sensations experienced in sex and conditioning the penis head to withstand ever greater levels of sensation.

Over time, and with regular practice, the Male Massage can lower the levels of sensation a man can withstand. Your plateau of excitement reduces from an all out ten, which results in early climax, and levels off at 7, which is comfortably sustainable for continued lovemaking.

If you feel your libido needs a boost, by all means try one of the many male enhancement pills on offer on the internet. Several of them contain potent herbs known to increase and encourage a laster longer erection – but pills alone will not give you the vital staying power you need to become a gifted lover. The Male Massage, in partnership with a course of pills, could you see you not only revive a flagging libido, but also learn how to cope with the highly stimulating demands of sex.

Simply slip your erection into the soft, yielding silicone sheath, sit back and set the multi speed controller. At the flick of a switch you can control the speed and learn how to delay climaxing over and over again. This is what builds the stamina and will greatly enhance your experiences in between the sheets. When you feel you are ready, transfer all you have learned to the bedroom and you’ll be making love ‘till  dawn, instead of getting shot at dawn.

A 48 year old man from Bromley in Kent has been ordered to attend addiction counseling to overcome an obsession with male masturbator sex toys.

Stephen Chivers of Locketts Wood, Bromley, was married with two children.

His obsession with adult sex toys began two years ago when he ordered a male masturbator sex toy over the internet. The sex toy, a prosthetic silicone vagina and anus, began to take over Chivers’ life. Chivers, a Chartered Accountant, started to order more sex toys online, many of them modelled on the private parts of famous porn actresses.

When Chivers could no longer hide his swelling adult sex toy collection in his home, he ordered a large shed and had it installed in his garden.

“Stephen would be in that shed for hours on end with a strong padlock on the door” said his wife Julie, who is now separated and applying for a divorce. “No one was allowed in.”

Chivers started to spend most of the weekend in the shed and then took to leaving work early in order to catch some valuable ‘shed time’ before dinner. Julie observed he would often emerge from the shed looking tired and sometimes utterly shattered. At the same time he had lost interest in conjugal relations. When his wife demanded to know what he was doing in the shed he claimed to be using a jogging machine.

His wife was suspicious when he never had any jogging clothes to wash and would enter the shed and re-emerge much later in his normal work clothes.

One day while he was at work she managed to break into the shed and discovered a “Pandora’s Box of male masturbators.”  “The shed reeked of male sperm” said Julie. “And there were more sex toys and expensive love dolls than an Ann Summers sale.” She knew immediately that Chivers had been playing away from home in his own back garden.

When confronted, Chivers broke down and confessed that his love adult sex toys had become a complete obsession and that he had taken to talking to the sex toys. He even believed one sex doll wanted him to leave his wife for her.

Chivers is on 6-months medical leave while he attends a live-in rehabilitation course at a sex addiction clinic.

Of all the adult sex toys, the love doll can be the most extreme. It’s an obsession that can quickly take a hold of the solitary gentleman disappointed, dejected and hurt by real life love affairs. In Japan, a factory that makes ultra realistic love dolls, reports a boom in the number of men ordering not one, not two, but sometimes a complete harem of these attractive but vacant looking love dolls to take the place of a real woman.

These dolls are far removed from the fun and frivolous love dolls that the average guy might buy for a stag night or for when things have gone a little quiet on the girlfriend front.

Made of silicone, these adult sex toys, starting at around $7000, are available in custom specifications that include height and weight, the color of the eyes, color of the hair, and size of the breasts. As they are life size men hooked on these love dolls can and do buy expensive outfits in which to kit them out, and sped many a loving hour dressing them.

Although these dolls come equipped with a fully mountable and useable vagina and anus, as well as sweet, kissable mouth, for many men, these dolls are simply too beautiful to be defiled by man’s basic carnal lusts,  and they occupy a reverential seat in the living room, at the dining room table and in the master bed.

The love doll fan knows he won’t find his dinner cooked and on the table when he gets home, but he remains unshaped. He is happy just to come home, and sit and talk with her while he eats his own microwaved food, and then choose a new outfit for her for the evening.

Many love doll enthusiasts love nothing more than to place the love doll in the car to escort her on a shopping trip where she will be a wholly uncritical companion. After all, the love doll is not going to complain about his driving, his outfit, or the place he chooses for dinner. With a love doll, the man is guaranteed to be in control – and most importantly – her fidelity is a given.

One gentleman in Japan has taken his adult sex toy obsession even further. He has paid out over $170,000 for ten or more ultra realistic love dolls, complete with replacement faces and heads, to occupy every seat in his living room save one. He loves nothing more than to come home after work to greet his pliant silicone concubines and talk to them about his day.  He does occasionally make love to one or more of his love dolls, but there’s never any fighting over who gets to share the bed, or for that matter, who gets to decide what to watch on TV. It could catch on.